Day 1

Begin with Your Destination in Mind

Olivia and two of her girlfriends were enjoying brunch one Saturday morning when the conversation turned to marriage. Olivia was single, and her two friends were both married. Over the course of the conversation, one woman complained continuously about how much time her husband spent playing golf each weekend with his friends and how this had become a source of much conflict. It sounded like she harped on her husband about it every day. The rift between them had become so deep that they might go days without speaking to each other.

Olivia s other married friend also shared a bit about her marriage. She explained how her husband s boss had taken credit for great work her husband had done. Noticing how upset he was, she stopped what she was doing to pray with him about the frustrating situation. She even shared how grateful her husband was for the TLC.

As Olivia drove home from brunch, she continued to think about the two relationships and what she did and didn t want in the marriage she hoped to have one day. She began to picture the future she aspired to reach.

I ll bet you know what it s like to prepare for a trip. When you take time off work, pack up the car, gas it up near home, and then hit the road at five o clock in the morning to meet up with a friend for vacation, you know where you re headed. (If you don t? Well, that s a whole other conversation . . .) And when you re on this dating journey ­whether you re still packing the car or you ve been driving so long that you re running out of gas ­you need to travel with your destination in mind. Specifically, I m inviting you to notice the experience of other travelers who ve been there.

I don t know what kinds of marriages you ve seen, but God s plan isn t just for you to find someone to make babies with and then grow old and die. The writer of Song of Songs gushed, I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go (3:4). God s good intention is that marriage would be amazing. Joy filled. God glorifying. That s the beautiful destination.

In Jesus s ministry, the crowds who were curious about Him traveled with Him. And as He taught them about what it meant to be His disciple and follow Him, He wanted to make sure they had enough gas in the tank, so to speak. He wanted them to consider ­at the front end ­what it would take to finish well. He offered, Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 1 Today is your opportunity to consider where you re headed and if you ve got what it takes to make it there.

Day 1 Challenge

Spend time considering the destination: the marriage you want to experience one day.

List five things about marriage that you re looking forward to:

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2.

3.

4.

5.

List five things about marriage that may concern you:

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2.

3.

4.

5.

All right, now I want you to get a little more specific. (And because you ll be naming names, remember that this challenge is private. It s between you and the Lord, so speak freely.)

When I look around at marriages I ve seen over the years, I admire the relationship that and share.

I d like to emulate their marriage with my own future spouse in these specific ways:

When I look around at marriages I do not want to duplicate, a marriage that concerns me is the one between and .

I want to be careful not to imitate what I ve